Crying Over Strangers
Bawling over the fate of internet "friends" is my favorite pastime
If you’re not crying over the fate of strangers on the internet at least five times a day, what are you even doing? Social media gets a bad rap, and deservedly so in many cases. Still, every once in a while you’ll feel so strongly for someone you don’t even know, and you’ll be glad that you found them, even if it broke your heart wide open.
Such was the case yesterday when I stumbled upon this post from the Instagram account “jordanbrennanphotography.” Whew. Deep breath, even as I type this. [This is your cue to grab some tissues]. This talented photographer was given 15 minutes to capture her best friend’s tender final days with her husband and daughter. Jordan’s best friend was on hospice, and even let her know that this would be their final time seeing one another.
“You told me that this would be the last time we’d see each other. I didn’t want to believe you—but, as usual, you were right.”
The way I blubbered reading those words. I could feel the pain despite never knowing them.
I then headed to the comments, and by this time, my shoulders were heaving. The first comment I read said this:
“I heard that time passes differently in heaven. By the time they turn to look around for you, you’ll be right behind them.”
My god, that’s beautiful. And painful. And agonizing. And wonderful. And sad. And peaceful. As author and podcaster and all-around baddie Glennon Doyle has said, it’s “brutiful.”
And I guess, using the same rationale that one uses for listening to sad songs after a breakup, I did a deep dive on the woman (Lindsay) who recently passed and bawled even more.
Shortly before her passing, she wrote, “So, here I am. Never giving up, but ready to give in.”
I think this statement is so powerful, as so often we hear that “[insert name here] ‘succumbed’ to cancer.” Fuck that. So many fight to the very end, so there’s no succumbing to cancer. Cancer is a fucking thief, plain and simple.
In her final post, Lindsay wrote, “I now give my strength to all of you. Fight those battles. Don’t give up. Love fearlessly. Live with adventure in your heart.”
These words make me wish that I’d been lucky enough to know this woman. Again, a stranger from the internet.
Shortly before coming across this (thanks for the tears, algorithm), I’d seen the couple who founded “Simon Sits,” Jacob and Isabel, giving Simon the goodest final meal for the goodest boi—their heart dog that was the reason they’ve become one of the most famous animal rescuers in the country. Isabel, Jacob, and Simon have changed the face of animal rescue, and I certainly hope they’ve given someone considering buying a dog pause before doing so. They gave Simon the dignified goodbye that he deserved.
So. Many. Tears. Over. Strangers.
Even writing this right now, I feel like grief is weighing me down. My heart is heavy. But I hope that in the face of the ridiculously horrible state of our nation, the daily mass shootings, and people dying from the lack of funding for food safety, I never become jaded to this heartbreak. Because heartbreak is universal, and that means that despite the expanse that may exist between us, we hold space for each other as if we are one.